Come Unto Me

As I was reading in preparation for this sermon, I read a section of a book that caused me to realize how much my views on children and worship had changed since I first began in ministry.  I was once adamantly opposed to children’s times in worship.  My opposition to them was that in many churches, children’s time is more about the kids looking cute on the chancel steps that anything really being taught.  And, I had been in attendance in a worship service in which a lay person passed out Frisbees to all of the children during children’s time…and I was sitting in the choir…let’s just say, no one benefited from that children’s sermon.  So, I was sure I knew everything, I fought against children’s times – because they objectified children, used object lessons that relied on metaphors that the children could not understand, and were, generally, a waste of everyone’s time.

The book I was reading  reminded me of my adamancy.  “With good intentions,” the authors wrote, “some pastors and churches offer a substitute judged suitable for children – a children’s sermon, an alternate activity outside the sanctuary where noise and motion are acceptable, or a crossword puzzle or paper work to occupy them in the sanctuary.  No matter what good motives prompt us to exclude children from scripture and sermon, the action remains a form of discrimination and deprivation.  No pastor would summon everyone over forty to gather around the pulpit every Sunday for a special message.  What church has a policy of dismissing every adult from the sanctuary who does not seem likely to have undivided attention and total comprehension?  What worship committee distributes games in case restless adults disturb those around them?”

And I realized that my feelings about children’s sermons has changed, but only when the children’s sermon helps the children hear and understand the rest of the worship experience.   Because, when I read over that last paragraph I just shared – about having adults over 40 around the pulpit…I thought…I do love when we are all close and able to see and interact with each other.  Those close, intimate moments are special, like when the whole congregation came and laid hands on me my first Sunday as your pastor.  Children’s time gives the children the opportunity to have a special, close experience every Sunday.

And, I don’t know a church that dismisses adults who fall asleep, or fail to pay attention, and Charlie bringing Billy the crossword puzzle was my first experience with adults getting games during worship to keep them from being restless.  The pilgrims had, though, deacons who patrolled the aisles, with a long rod.  On one end was a big brass ball to whack children on the head who talked or squirmed, and most sleepers, on the other end was a feather to tickle under the nose of the elderly who fell asleep.  See, none of us is perfect in worship.

Most of what is discussed and written about children in worship is about why it is important for the children to be welcome in worship.  As their faith develops, children need a sense of belonging, of being part of the community, the church.  They need a place set aside to meet God; they need worship.  They need a community of support and encouragement; they need a church family with surrogate grandparents and aunts and uncles and like a moms, and like a dads, and brothers and sisters.

And most of the time, when talking about children in worship, the scripture that will be used is the story of Jesus welcoming the children.  It is told in all three synoptic Gospels – Matthew, Mark, and Luke.  Jesus was teaching; Jesus was a teacher, a rabbi, and rabbis had disciples, students.  Disciples were men.  Rabbis were teachers who went to what would now be the upper elementary or middle school and chose boys who were coming of age to continue their study.  These boys were chosen for their success in school.  But, Jesus didn’t go to the school to choose his disciples.  He chose fishermen and tax collectors.  These men were already out of school, they had not been chosen by the other rabbis.  Then, he let other people follow him and gather around, sit down, and learn.  Then, he let women join the group, and sit down, and learn.  And then, he let the children come, and he let them get close.  Women were bringing their babies for Jesus to bless.  It was getting to be – well, you know how it is when kids are all crowding around.  I imagine there was some boisterous behavior, some louder than hushed tones talking, some running, skipping, jumping, jostling,…and the disciples spoke sternly.  Jesus says, “Let the children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs.”

God’s design, God’s dream for us, God’s hope for us, the kingdom of heaven, can best be seen – in children.  They get it.  They know what the disciples are trying to learn.  So, we need children in worship, because we learn from them.

They have something to give us.  And, sometimes we forget that.  Six-year old Allen and his older brother George sat on the front row of their church like they did each Sunday.  They sat alone.  Their dad was at work and their mother was in the choir.  But, this Sunday was Stewardship Sunday.  Every person in the church was given a pledge card with opportunities for service in the church and community and a place to make a pledge to the financial commitments of the church.  When they finished filling out their cards, people brought them to the communion table.  Well, the children hadn’t been given cards.  So, six-year old George, watched the process and started to fold his picture from Sunday school down to the same size as the cards.  He printed his name on the outside and was going to join the procession.  Well, Allan sized up what was happening and grabbed his brother, “Don’t do that.  We’re not supposed to have anything to give,” he said.

Children have a lot to give us.  For one thing, they force us to keep it real.  Children know when worship is alive and heart-felt, and when it is just going through the motions.  Children know when we are excited about participating, and then they want to participate too!  Now, I will admit that it is much harder to write a sermon that speaks in common language about things that we all understand and can use in our lives every day than it is to write a sermon about the history of the interpretation of a passage and its’ exegetical hermeneutics.  But, it is the only way that children are going to sit and listen to it, and it is the only way we won’t need the brass ball to wake some of the adults and the feather to wake the rest of the adults.

Children also teach us the importance of ritual.  Rituals bring consistency, and they allow us to be present to the act of worship instead of juggling papers and trying to figure out what’s happening next.  One of the most important things parents do when their children are very young is set a bedtime routine.  Time for bed, special snack, bath, pajamas, brushing teeth, reading stories, saying prayers, rocking, tucking in.  The ritual comforts the child and nurtures his or her soul.  In the same way, ritual in worship comforts the worshipper and allows worship to nurture our soul.

Children also teach us that while ritual is important, it needs to keep moving.  One of the best pieces of advice I ever got about leading worship was to watch the children.  When they start to squirm, move it along or change gears, or have everyone move.  Sometimes it is not possible that particular day in worship because the liturgy is all printed in the bulletin, but I take note of it.  When did the kids get restless?  Because, the truth is, we all got restless.  The adults have just learned how to grin and bare it, or to shift subtly in our pews, or unwrap a mint.

Finally, we learn from children to keep it relational.  Worship is the gathering of the family of God.  Jesus invites us all to come close.  One book on children in worship reminds the reader that children are people, not puppies, rather than patting them on the head and saying how cute they are, we can shake their hands and have a conversation.  This congregation does a great job knowing the children’s names, talking with them at fellowship and in the hall and during dinner on Wednesday nights, knowing what they are interested in, showing interest in their lives, and including them in the Farmington family.  May we continue to learn from our children for to such as these belongs the kingdom of heaven.