Life in Community

Each year, as we celebrate our nation’s independence, I marvel at the hopes of our founders. Words like “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” ring with a vision of a community that didn’t exist then, and doesn’t exist now.

At the same time, they penned a constitution to guide their life together. It began “The Stile of this confederacy shall be, “The United States of America.” Each state retains its sovereignty, freedom and independence, and every Power, Jurisdiction and right, which is not by this confederation expressly delegated to the United States, in Congress assembled. The said states hereby severally enter into a firm league of friendship with each other, for their common defense, the security of their Liberties, and their mutual and general welfare, binding themselves to assist each other, against all force offered to, or attacks made upon them, or any of them, on account of religion, sovereignty, trade, or any other pretense whatever.” It is now known as the Articles of Confederation. It didn’t last long. Ten years later, these much more familiar words would be penned, “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

Life in community requires boundaries. Once the Israelites were no longer slaves in Egypt, they needed boundaries to form their relationships. The most important relationship was with God, so the first four boundaries they are given define their relationship with God. And the other six boundaries flow out of that foundational relationship to define their relationships with one another.

Sibley Towner, one of my Old Testament professors in seminary, described the Ten Commandments as “ten posts supporting the fence separating the viable community of Israel from the marauding beasts of disorder, confusion, and bloodshed howling outside the pale.” Like the words “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” and “in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility” the commandments had a ring to them. They were written in a style to be recited and remembered. They are to shape and form who we are as God’s covenant people. At the time of the Reformation, Martin Luther argued that they should be read in every worship service in preparation for the Confession of Sins. John Calvin agreed that they should be part of regular worship; he believed they should be read after the Declaration of Pardon as “liberating directives” for life freed from sin, as guides for the new life we have in Christ.

Whether they are read before or after we confess our sins against God and neighbor, we need the reminder that we have fallen short and that we have a path forward. Presbyterian pastor, James Chatham writes that the Ten Commandments are not about actions and consequences, there is no punishment specified for breaking a commandment. They are “ethical cornerstones, eternal laws….For the community to follow them would lead to life; for the community to transgress them would lead to sure and certain death.” These are guides for living abundantly in community, and to break them, whether by breaking the letter of the law or the spirit of the law, is to break relationship with God and with one another. Jesus made clear about the last five commandments, the ones about our relationships in community, that our attitudes and our thoughts are just as relationship breaking as our actions.

Thou shalt not murder or have contempt for another person.

Thou shalt not commit adultery or have lustful thoughts or feelings for another person.

Thou shalt not steal, either taking what belongs to another person or withholding what is rightfully theirs.

Thou shalt not bear false witness, society and relationships are based on truth and integrity.

Thou shalt not covet. I love the way Rev. Eugenia Gamble talked about this law in the Presbyterian Women’s study this spring, “Covetousness,” she wrote, “is rooted not in the sense that we lack something we need, but in the sense that we ourselves are somehow lacking and that something outside of ourselves can fill that hole and address that fear.” Thou shalt not believe that you are not enough. You are made in the image of God.

Which takes us back to the first four Commandments: the Lord your God brought you out of Egypt, it is God who saves us, it is God who redeems us, it is God who sustains us. When we draw a breath, it is a gift of God. Why would we put anyone or anything before God in our lives? Why would we claim anything as ultimate, let anything else shape our lives? And yet, we do.

In 1997, Gerald Jansen published a book on Exodus and in it he said that “the gods are alive and well and they are many. Some are ideological (Marxist or Capitalist), some are political (national security), some are economic (bottom line), some are social-mathematical (“statistics show that a majority of…”), some are strictly personal (“I Did It My Way”…), and many are increasingly tribal (“our” group versus “them). As we stand in this gap of liminal time, at the threshold between one period of history and the next, as our society seems to be shifting and questioning and tearing, it is time for us to examine our ultimate loyalty.

It is time for us to ensure we are not bowing down to any idol in worship. It is time for us to call on God, not for our own advantage. The prophet Jeremiah warned of speaking in God’s name when our concern is greed rather than the least of these, “They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace. Are they ashamed of their detestable conduct? No, they have no shame at all; they do not even know how to blush.”

The final two commandments pertain to our families. We are to follow a pattern of Sabbath, resting as God rested and working as God worked, and we are to honor our father and our mother. The command to honor father and mother was not given to control insolent children, but to assure the care of the elderly. Once a person’s parents were no longer able to be productive, in God’s covenant community they were not to be put out, but cared for by their children.

Right relationship within our family, within our community, with our God – in 10 rules. Jesus summarized them in 2 – Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. If you have everything else, but don’t have love, you have nothing.

And still, we haven’t always gotten it right, as a nation or as a community of faith, as neighbors or families. Dr. John Gottmann is a psychologist who has researched marriage for the last 40 years. His website has terrific marriage resources. One of his findings is that there are 4 communication styles that predict the end of a marriage. He calls them the four horsemen of relationships: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. I would argue that we see these four horsemen at the end of any relationship and that when we engage in these styles of communication we are no longer acting with love and are therefore not living according to God’s will.

Criticisms “You never…and I always” lead to defensiveness, “You are the one who should…I don’t know why I’m even involved.” And over time criticism and defensiveness leads to contempt, “Could you be any more pathetic?” which leads to stonewalling, shutting down, withdrawing emotionally from relationship. It is true of our marriages, of parent/child relationships, within families, communities, people groups, and within our nation. And I read these interactions on Facebook and Twitter, I see them on the news and in politics, as people talk about protests and police, masks and the economy.

Mind the gap.

In a 2006 commentary, Rev. Cecil Sherman wrote that “The Ten Commandments are an essential piece of any conversation about how to make a divided, troubled, directionless people come together and live with some order and sanity and fairness.”

As we remember and give thanks for our nation, may we consider what a more perfect union could be, in which justice is established, ensuring domestic tranquility. As we continue to social distance and minimize physical interactions, may we consider our relationships with those we interact with virtually and those with whom we share our homes. Life in community requires boundaries. May our boundary be love. Amen.