Open Books, Open Hearts

As children, we learn to pray.  Simple prayers like God is great, God is good.; God our Father; The Lord’s been good to me; Now I lay me down to sleep. As we get older, we learn the Lord’s Prayer.

But most of us never get to the point that we are comfortable praying our own words, especially out loud.  Aristotle proclaimed that “We are what we repeatedly do.”  If we want to be people of prayer, we must be committed to practicing prayer.  If someone wants to be an athlete, he will exercise and eat right every day.  A scholar will devote time each day to reading and writing.  A musician will practice scales and perfect her repertoire.  A family who wants to be strong will guard time to share a meal and talk about the day.

Christians need the same kinds of practices and habits to shape who we are as followers of Jesus.  If we want to be people of prayer, we must practice prayer.

And, like any behavior we practice, the more we pray, the more prayer will be a response that comes forward even when we are not intentionally practicing or even thinking about it.” (Ann Deibert)

But, I don’t think, for a lot of Christians, the only problem with praying is that we don’t practice.

Shawna Bowman is a visual artist and a Presbyterian pastor in Chicago.  And she wrote about her struggle with prayer.  She said, “Sometime in my early twenties I became obsessed with figuring out how to pray.  Not the out loud, waxing eloquently, public kind of prayer, no way. No, I’m simply talking about the moment along my journey when it occurred to me that this faith thing belonged to me…I really, really believed this crazy idea that God is real.  That God is good. And that God is participating in our story; the human story, right now, today.  And I wanted a bigger piece of it.  I wanted a deeper connection to God’s story, and my story.  Until this time, I hadn’t prayed daily other than the bedtime prayer litany and the dinnertime perfunctory grace with my kids and family.

I started by making lists.  Lists of grievances, desires, questions…this didn’t feel like prayer…I got down on the floor…and tried body prayer.  I felt silly.  I used tried-and-true prayer formulas and it felt like homework.  I wasn’t feeling it.  I wanted an encounter.”  So she researched, “trying to find the key to slowing down, to focusing, to making her brain stop long enough to get to God.  I counted to one hundred,…I attended to my breath…in…out…in…out.  I prayed the Jesus prayer – Je…inhale..sus…exhale..you are…inhale…my beloved…exhale…I chanted the desire of my heart over and over.

These ways of praying weren’t useless, but they weren’t working.”

Shawna practiced prayer.  So, what wasn’t working?  The dictionary definition of prayer is a solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God.  Shawna was following the definition, so what does it mean for her to say it wasn’t working?  I think Jesus would advocate for a different definition.  Let’s look at what he said, and then get back to a definition.

In Jesus’ day people practiced prayer.  Jews and Gentiles prayed a lot.  But, Jesus is teaching those who follow him that what they are doing isn’t working.

Jesus said about some of the Jews, “Whenever you pray, don’t make sure you are out in public, standing right in the middle of the sidewalk or at the Temple so that everyone is sure to see you – that’s hypocritical.”

The prayer life of the pious Jew consisted of the Shema:  “Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God is one Lord.”  Every morning, every evening, they recited it.  There were prayers before and after meals.  Hourly prayers were spoken at 9 in the morning, noon, and 3 in the afternoon.  When the hourly prayer time came, you dropped down right where you were and prayed.  So some Jews made sure that they were strategically in the right place at the right time to be noticed when they piously prayed.  And Jesus said if you pray like that– you’ve already gotten your reward for that prayer…you wanted to impress other people, done, you’ve accomplished it, but you didn’t gain anything with God praying like that.

And about the Gentiles, Jesus said, “When you are praying, don’t heap up empty phrases like the Gentiles do.”

When Gentiles prayed, they prayed to pagan gods.  So their prayers were piled up with names of lots of pagan gods in hopes of hitting on the right one, and they were filled with ingratiating compliments to curry the god’s favor.  The whole prayer was designed to “grease the skids” before making a request.  O most wonderful, high, god of this, god of that…you are amazing and powerful.  You’re amazing, there’s none better, Let me trip over myself with compliments…and please grant me an abundant harvest.

So, Jesus said instead of making a show of yourself when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father in secret will reward you.  And you won’t be heard because of your many words…your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

But Jesus isn’t teaching against public prayers or long prayers.  He is warning us that when we are praying in public, if our goal is to impress other people, we might impress them…but that’s all that we’ll gain from that prayer.  And if we pray a long prayer trying to flatter God before we make our request, we need to realize that God already knows what we need.  We don’t have to butter God up.  We don’t have to use big, fancy words and impressive poetic language.  When we pray, our needs aren’t news to God, when we pray, we invite God into our lives to lead us and help us in those needs.

So, maybe a better definition of prayer would be a dialogue and relationship with God.  Shawna’s problem wasn’t that she didn’t practice…it was that none of the practices of prayer she practiced moved her….none of them drew her closer to God.

While she was seeking a closer relationship with God, Shawna continued as an artist and an art teacher, and she continued to carry a sketchbook or a journal with her everywhere…jotting notes, ideas, thoughts, drawing during meetings, worship…straight through the sermon.  She says, “It took me a long time to realize this was the most authentic way to a daily prayer life for me.  That I was already doing it.”

When she sketched or jotted her thoughts and responses, she was an open book, and she was opening her heart to God.  John Calvin said we should let the psalms teach us to pray because they are the songs of God’s people pouring out their hearts to God.  There are psalms of great joy, songs of ascending to worship, and songs of deep grief and lament.  There is no emotion that is too much for God to handle.  There are psalms that rage at God, there are psalms that ask God to crush the psalmist’s enemy, there are psalms that question how long suffering will last, there are psalms that complain that there is no escaping God’s presence.  If there is one thing that all the psalms are, it is honest.  Completely open book, open heart, honest with God.

When we pray, we should not be concerned with what other people think of our prayer or with trying to manipulate God with our prayer.  Prayer is simple.

Prayer is opening your life to God.  Open book, open heart.

Spiritual disciplines and memorized prayers are tools to help you open your heart.

There was a time in my life that I thought of prayer as sitting in silence before God.  And, I worked hard on being able to clear my mind.  I tried to get to 20 minutes of prayer time.  I started by reciting something I knew – usually a phrase of a hymn of the Lord’s Prayer…and then I began to just think it…and then I slowed it down.  But, it was never comfortable.  I never felt like I did it right, or it “worked.”

Prayer is not about failure.  If a way to pray doesn’t work for you, try another way.  “Pay attention to what connects you to God, what opens your heart to love and joy, to the people and world around you?  The point of prayer is not to do it perfectly or in one particular prescribed form.  The purpose of prayer is to nurture a life with God.”

The best way to start is to start small.  “The best way to fail at developing a habit is to make a huge plan (particularly if your plans include the expectation that you will do it “perfectly”)…Maybe start just by beginning each morning with “Thank you for this day.”  And ending each day with “Thank you for this day.”

It will require reminders.  Smart phones are great to schedule reminders.

And there are as many ways to pray as there are people, because prayer is relationship.  You might start with a Scripture or devotional reading and then reflect on it.  You might pray the Lord’s Prayer as a framework, which is how Jesus intended it, for us to add what is on our hearts with each phrase – this morning’s prayers of the people will use this form, so you can see how this is done.  You might open your heart to God best while you are being active – going for a run or a walk or a hike.  Or you might open your heart to God best by focusing on an object – a candle flame, a picture, beads.  Or you might open your heart to God best through offering an artistic talent – writing, sketching, doodling, singing, playing an instrument, listening to music, dancing.

There is no one right way.  There is no one way that will always “work” for you.  It is not about will-power.  It is not about the right words.  It is about desiring God, being an open book, with an open heart.