There’s Courage for Every Choice

I wonder how Joseph came to know that Mary was going to have a baby. They were betrothed, but not yet married which means that Mary’s father had completed the contract for her to be married to Joseph, and they were in the year prior to the marriage. During the year she would still live in her father’s household and Joseph would either add on to his father’s house or setup his own household and then come take her for his wife.

So how did word get to Joseph that she was with child? Did she tell her mother, who told her father, who told Joseph and his father? What did her family say to his family? The contract was broken. And who decided how to settle the damages? Was the response left solely up to Joseph? The righteous man that he was, he saw that he had three options. He could seek restitution – pursue it legally and collect damages, a financial settlement, from her father. He could seek retribution – pursue it punitively and see her punished, stoned to death. He could tear up the contract and it would be as though there was never an agreement. This is what he chooses. He will quietly put her away, let her father out of the contract and have nothing more to do with them.

How do you think Mary’s parents responded? Her story was pretty hard to believe. What was her father planning to do with this daughter who had gotten herself pregnant? Would he let her stay or throw her out to try to survive? Would he turn her over to be punished, this daughter of his who had brought shame upon the family name?

Did Mary know when she acquiesced, “Let it be to me according to your Word” the danger she placed herself in? Surely, she did. And yet, she was so certain, so trusting, that she said yes with no conditions. She didn’t say, “Yes, if you go talk to Joseph, too, Gabriel.” “Yes, if you will be with me when I tell my father.” “Yes, if everyone will understand and I will be safe and the baby will be cared for.” She didn’t say, “Yes, if…” She courageously decided, “Let it go with me the way God wills.”

We don’t know the exact timing of the angel coming to Joseph as he slept. Matthew says that Joseph resolved to divorce her quietly, but as he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. Was there a meeting planned in a few days to settle the contract, and he knew about the baby and was trying to decide what to do? Was he bothered by deciding to divorce her, even though it was quietly, and still going over and over his decision days later?

I wonder if Mary got to talk with Joseph? To share her side of the story? Did anyone even tell him about the angel? He did not even see that there was a fourth option, a riskier option, to be sure [God’s way often is, since it is the way of the world], and a more loving and compassionate option.

I wonder if he even considered that he could go through with the contract. If he took her as his wife, he would be disgraced. The assumption of the community would be that he was the father. He knew he wasn’t. It was impossible to act like nothing had happened. She was having a baby. The contract was broken. He had no choice but to divorce her.

And yet, he was unsettled. Like a wrestling match in his mind, the options tumbled and grappled, over and over…until he fell fitfully asleep. What would become of her? Of her child? What should he do? What could he do? As a righteous man, he was bound by the law. The law permits divorce in cases of adultery. She was expecting a child, and it wasn’t his. As a righteous man, he chose mercy and divorced her quietly.

“Joseph,” a voice broke into his fitful dream-state thoughts, “Joseph, son of David – remember the promise of a Messiah in your bloodline, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. The child she bears, a son, is of the Holy Spirit. And you shall name him, as is the tradition of fathers. His name? Jesus, “the one who saves”, for he will save his people from their sins.”

The wrestling was over. Joseph knew what was righteous, what God’s Word commanded him to do. He would do the most compassionate and loving thing. He would marry her. What people thought of him didn’t stop him. What was righteous was clear. New Testament scholar and professor at Columbia Theological, Dr. Stanley Saunders, writes about Joseph’s courageous decision, that “Confronted with a series of difficult personal and moral decisions, [Joseph] places God’s direction and his sense of compassion above what even the law dictates. In similar circumstances, many of us might choose a more conventional, even vengeful path. Joseph shows us what ‘righteousness’ really means: attentiveness to God’s will and compassion for others,….” Had he even considered this as an option before?

Joseph awakes and makes a courageous decision. He will take Mary as his wife, and in so doing just as Mary said yes to being the God-bearer, he says “yes” to being a God-rearer.

It is easy for us to miss the courageous decisions of Mary and Joseph in the midst of our rush to begin the Christmas story with Luke 2, “In those days a decree went out…”. It is easy for us to forget that Mary and Joseph were ordinary people facing a tremendous, public test of their faith. They had to trust God as they had to tell their families and neighbors a story that is humanly impossible as truth. Joseph had to have the courage to go beyond the letter of the law and the boundaries of tradition to obey God’s call. It is easy for us to miss that we have much to learn from them.

Dr. Christine Hong reflects on Joseph’s actions. It bothers her that it took an angel visiting for him not to abandon Mary. She writes, “however, when I reflect upon my frustration, I realize in many ways we are each Joseph. Each day we are faced with opportunities to do and be better in our relationships with one another and the world. Yet, when we are faced with opportunities to put our privilege and power at risk – to do what is right – we often decline to engage. Risk discomforts power.”

Righteousness doesn’t quietly put away other people like damaged property. Righteousness is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Righteousness looks at the wilderness and decides to cultivate it so that it is covered in blooms. Righteousness looks at the desert and decides to pipe in water. Righteousness looks at the situation with eyes fully open and listens with unstopped ears. Righteousness makes the courageous choices that construct a highway, a holy way, the way of love, right through the situation. Righteousness is the choice to be merciful rather than vengeful, the choice for peace rather than punishment, the choice of grace rather than condemnation, the choice to seek restoration rather than reputation, compassion rather than restitution or retribution. Righteousness is the decision to choose relationship.

Joseph had the courage to make the most loving decision. To stay in relationship with Mary. To love her and care for her. And to welcome the child she bore as a son.
What would you have done? What are you doing? Who have you put away quietly? What courageous loving action is God calling you to? May we, like Joseph, have courage to make righteous decisions in our relationships. Amen.