Disagreeing Without Being Disagreeable

We begin a series of sermons this morning on Healing Relationships in a Broken World with a passage from Paul’s letter to the church in Rome. We need to begin with a little bit about what was going on in the church in Rome when Paul wrote to them. He wrote the letter around 57, about 24 years after Jesus’s earthly ministry. The church in Rome was mostly founded by Jewish people who had gone to Jerusalem for Pentecost and heard Peter preach and became followers of Jesus. They were still Jewish, still a part of their synagogue in Rome, and they were part of this group of followers of the Way who met. And there were Gentiles who heard the good news and believed and started meeting with them. And the establishment Jewish leaders in Rome were not pleased. That’s putting it mildly. In fact, in Rome in 49, the rioting about Christ became so bad that the Emperor, Claudius, expelled the Jews from Rome. Then, when he died in 54, many returned. So from 49-54, for 6 or so years, the Gentile followers of Jesus were the community of followers of the Way in Rome, and these converts to faith became the leaders and didn’t follow all the Jewish customs and holidays and rules. Then, they came back.

In the interim, I can just imagine that the Gentile Christians had gained some confidence and strength. They felt comfortable to argue and maintain their positions and were less compliant with the Jewish Christian leaders’ teachings on things like what to eat and drink and when to worship. These were not issues of 10 Commandments importance, but they were also not trivial issues. Whenever the followers of Jesus gathered, they gathered in homes and they ate together. What would be served? Did the meal have to be vegetarian? Do they have to avoid fast days or Sabbath days?

Paul doesn’t make this a Jewish/Gentile divide, though. He makes it a stronger in faith/weaker in faith divide. And when they were reading the letter out loud the first time, you know who was nodding their heads. Those kosher followers who kept the Sabbath. Oh, yeah. They knew they were stronger in faith. It was harder to do, right? It probably didn’t fall right down Jewish/Gentile lines any more. Some of the Jewish Christians had shed the Jewish dietary and Sabbath laws because they believed that in Christ they are freed and no longer under the law. At the same time some Gentile Christians had adopted the Jewish dietary and Sabbath laws as a way to distinguish their new life in Christ from their old pagan worship rituals with meat offered to idols and all kinds of festivals. So, it is not a Jewish/Gentile distinction any more. It is a rule-following way and a way of freedom.

And it was serious – this was at the level of if you are going to allow that, I just don’t see how we can be in the same community. Dr. William Greenway, a theology professor at Austin Seminary,  writes that these issues were “so serious that many in Rome saw confusion over them as a basis for denial of fellowship. By comparison, we can think of controversies about which we too are so passionate that we cannot honestly avoid portraying our opponents as confused in faith, issues considered so significant that they sometimes serve as a basis for rejecting fellowship: homosexuality, abortion, evolution, creationism, ordination of women, universalism, authority of Scripture, Eucharist. Whatever your side,” writes Greenway, “if you see any controversy dividing today’s church as a basis for exclusion of fellowship, Paul is speaking to you.”

And what Paul says had to have surprised the hearers then and upset some folks, and it likely does today if we really listen. The ones who are strong in faith are those who do not follow the kosher or the Sabbath rules. But, says Paul, no one should look down on anyone else for the choices they make about how to live their lives. Each person should be convinced in their own mind that the choice they are making is the faithful choice for them. And the other is to respect that choice, even making space for it…if you don’t follow kosher laws, but you are going to host the church picnic, you can’t serve BBQ and shrug your shoulders that there’s nothing to eat for those who do follow kosher laws.

It is ok to disagree with each other. But, we are not to be disagreeable with one another. Paul says that no matter what, we are servants of the same Lord, disciples of the same Lord. Our defining characteristic is not our lifestyle – our defining characteristic is Christ. Our primary desire is to serve and honor Christ. How that gets expressed in the things you do and don’t do, in the things I do and don’t do, what that looks like…it’s not for me to judge…it’s not for you to judge.

God is the judge. And, Paul goes on to say that when we climb up there on that judgement seat and start looking down our noses at how someone else is living, we are committing idolatry…we are pretending that we are god. It’s not our place to be judgmental. It’s not our call to be disagreeable.

New Testament scholar NT Wright says that we must “learn to live together without looking down [our] noses at one another or implying for a moment that God is more pleased with one style of behaviour than with another.”

The Kingdom of God, says Paul, is a matter of making every effort to do what leads to peace and mutual deeper understanding.  Disagreeing without being disagreeable requires radical grace – welcoming without judgement of people with whom we bitterly disagree. It’s not human nature. Here’s the thing. When we believe something, we believe we are right…or we wouldn’t believe it.  And here’s the problem, as soon as we decide “I’m right. I’ve decided you’re wrong. And I’ve climbed up into that judgement seat so that it is easier to look right down my nose at you.” We are tempted by power – idolatry.

In fact, it sometimes feels good – it’s a bit energizing – to have a target wrong. You know, something that you are SURE is wrong that you have NO interest in ever doing. It has a certain allure. And here’s the thing, once we have determined our target wrong, and we start developing our points for debate, it’s a slippery slope to personifying that wrong, seeing the person who does that wrong as an enemy. And dividing the community. That is what Paul is warning the Romans, and us, about.

We can disagree. We will disagree. Paul warns us not to be disagreeable. Not to let our hearts harden against one another. It’s really easy to start avoiding those people who we just don’t agree with…To make sure that we don’t look at that person with whom we disagree as enemy rather than sibling. Because it just may be that when God says “Come in! Sit down!” The chair for you is right next to them.  Jesus has made a place for us all at God’s Table.

In our disagreements, we have to remember that we are all made in God’s image, and Christ is the Lord of us all, and we are siblings. Loving one another is more important than being right.